Hampir satu dekad

Setelah engkau kutemui saat siang

Pada obor mentari muncul di tengah langit

Semesta menjemput malam melakar garis

Enam cebisan hayat terasa asing 

Dalam kelam mencari diri 

Jalan pekat mengejar ilusi

Kembali lagi di pertemuan senja

Berteman rasa berselimut karsa

Kali ini moga bukan sekadar rasian

Berulit waktu ku pejam rapat

Saat suria menyapa mata

Tetap ada engkau terang yang paling setia.

18/9/21

Moga sentiasa kuat dan dipermudahkan. 

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Everyone has their own struggle of becoming better. Think twice before we judge! :)

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In bloom

The beautiful kind of butterfliesIn my stomach, in my eyesLed me to the blooming gardenAnd there I found youWith baby's breath and rosesYou walked to me and smiledWith fangs and a sweet pair of dimplesWe had a conversation about the skyOn how the colours turn orange or blueGosh, suddenly I became a flower tooWishing to bloom with you.

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Everyone has their own struggle of becoming better. Think twice before we judge! :)

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uncomfortable road

I've made a hard decision that I thought I would never do.

And the truth is, it makes me sad too. And I'm still feeling so bad, and uncertain at times. Because hurting others was never my intention.

It's always confusing to choose between what is right and what is easy. Between what we know, and what we feel.

But I'm so thankful that this decision left me with no regret. I get upset, but up until now it feels right. InshaAllah.

Of course it's an uncomfortable process, but it's growth anyway. Eventually and slowly but surely, everything will make sense and fall into their perfect places. Always set the right intention, keep trying and trust Allah to open the best doors for all of us.

And there's an unhealthy habit of mine, which is when I get hurt, I tend to force myself to be cold and heartless as a shield to cover my pain. But who I'm trying to fool anyway? I'm the feeler, heartless is never who I really am. And I prefer everything warmer.

Now I'm learning a new trait, which is to be kind to myself and the people around me. To stop holding anything against anyone. It's not yet who I am, but it's what I could be.

Because perhaps I'm no longer wishing to be a concrete 'titanium', but rather a blooming garden.

I choose to be content, and whole again.

Amin.

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Everyone has their own struggle of becoming better. Think twice before we judge! :)

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Dalam Sembuh

Kata mereka -- ilham itu paling lebat mencurah saat kejatuhan, saat hati menunduk rebah.
Tapi mengapa ketika aku menggenggam pena, yang tercatat hanya noktah?

Hati lebih memilih untuk menghambur rasa bersama suara dan doa, melalui tangisan di bahu manusia atau pada sujud terakhir yang menjadi rahsia aku dan Dia.
Kerana waktu itu, enggan kuabadikan rasa yang pahit dalam tulisan. Pedih itu, tidak mahu ku kenang dan simpan buat diriku di masa hadapan.

Masa hadapan yang kini bergelar;
Sekarang.

Mungkin bukan langit yang berubah lebih cerah, tetapi hati-hati kita yang bercantum lebih tabah.
Kerana kita mula akur pada takdir, walau belum sepenuhnya ikhlas.
Dan kerana kita belajar bahawa pelangi yang dikirimkan Tuhan itu jauh lebih indah, meski harus disingkap sang awan agar terlihat jelas.
Dan bahawa rasa sakit itu tidak melemahkan, sebaliknya kita yang terkadang memilih untuk tersungkur lemah dalam kesakitan.
Dan hakikatnya masa tidak pernah menjadi penyembuh, sebaliknya Tuhan yang menyembuhkan seiring masa.

Terpanggil aku menggagahkan hati untuk kembali menoreh aksara dan melipat duka, seringkasnya sekadar buat tongkat diri andai berbalut luka di masa hadapan.

Teruntuk kamu, dari masa lalumu;
Pedih itu tidak selamanya kekal di situ, selagi kamu bergerak lurus menuju Tuhan—selagi itu tidak terputus tali harapan.

 
 

 

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Everyone has their own struggle of becoming better. Think twice before we judge! :)

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